Wikipedia says “Toleration and tolerance are terms used in social, cultural and religious contexts to describe attitudes which are “tolerant” (or moderately respectful) of practices or group memberships that may be disapproved of by those in the majority.”
For years I have been hearing about the act of tolerance from schools, government and well-meaning people around me. I have tried and tried to grasp it as a way of life but I have finally wrestled with the concept of tolerating enough to have decided that I choose to say no to tolerance.
I tolerate you so much.
I love you so much.
Which sentiment would you rather hear from someone who you know?
I will not deny that tolerance has been a part of my life. It usually sneaks its ugliness into my heart when I have been hurt by someone or when someone reminds me of someone else who has hurt me in the past. A certain look or tone of voice will trigger a previous wound and I will quickly place a new acquaintance into a box of tolerance because I am scarred and scared to take the chance of them being different from the person that they remind me of.
I will not deny that tolerance has been a part of my life. It usually sneaks its ugliness into my heart when I have been hurt by someone or when someone reminds me of someone else who has hurt me in the past.
Other times that I have defaulted to tolerance is when I am not sure how to handle behavior that is intolerable. Those are the times that I might think that one sin as worse than another so it is easier to avoid interacting with those who struggle with those unspeakable sins. When in doubt, tolerate.
Good Lord, forgive me for tolerating. My poor choices are no better or worse than someone else’s. The consequences and levels of pain may vary but how dare I choose to hurt them even further by just tolerating them.
I have done nothing better than to reject someone when I choose to give crumbs of toleration.
Tolerance is a small part of love but it cannot even come close to replacing love. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” When we tolerate, we stay clear of the mess and there is no sharpening going on which means very little to no growth is happening. I will choose to love. What a wonderful, messy adventure to love.
Tolerance is a small part of love but it cannot even come close to replacing love. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” When we tolerate, we stay clear of the mess and there is no sharpening going on which means very little to no growth is happening. I will choose to love. What a wonderful, messy adventure to love.
Love requires more of us. Love will be uncomfortable but it is also so much more rewarding for us and those we love. Love is a choice though. It will not always come easy. I have noticed that when my family and loved ones go through busy and difficult seasons, we often slide into a daze of tolerating one another just to get over the waves. It is when we choose to love once again at a conscious level that we finally realize the difference between tolerance and love.
Have you been so busy tolerating that you have forgotten how to love? And yes, by loving, I mean loving everyone.
I hope that you will join me in saying no to tolerance.